FINALLY: The secret to a fulfilling life. It's not only to take responsibility without taking blame. Nor is it more money, nor to have more time. It's not even in having outstanding relationships - although all these are indeed important.

A fulfilling life is deceptively simple: - to achieve what you really want. Although you probably have many areas that need attention, this is a very good place to start. Explore ..

Responsibility and Blame What's the Difference?

Nazi Germany

Reverend Martin Niemoeller, was a Lutheran minister who lived in Nazi Germany during the 1930s. After regaining his freedom, he wrote this very insightful, and widely-known report on his experience:

Is taking responsibility for something the same as taking the blame? Let's examine the vital difference.

Are You Involved?

If you're involved in something, then to some extent you're responsible. Since you're living on this earth, then you have some responsibility towards the earth. Eldridge Cleaver said rather succinctly:


Reverend Niemoeller was part of the problem because he had declined his responsibility in support of the solution. Does this mean that he was to blame? Absolutely not. Yet did he have any responsibility in the matter?

They did come for him, eventually, and by then there was no one left to do anything about it. Taking responsibility involves recognizing that you are involved in some way. Ask yourself,


If everyone did what you are doing, would the problem get smaller or larger?

If it would get smaller then you are contributing to the solution. If the problem would get larger, then you can help avoid this by recognizing your responsibility in the matter.

Are You to Blame?

When are you actually to blame? Many people would agree that being to blame recognizes that some action of yours has directly caused a problem.

Others say blame includes indirectly caused, as well as directly. Some even consider that blame can also cover whether your action was premeditated or accidental.

Blame usually involves some close, if not direct, relationship to the cause of the problem. It's a judgment, rather than simply an assessment or an observation of what is so. What happened, and what it means, are very different, even though people regularly confuse these. What is the difference?

Is it a Judgement - or an Assessment?

• An observation is a statement of what is so. A statement of fact. An observation uses neutral language to avoid the pejorative, and to refrain giving it any meaning. It says nothing about whether you and/or your action are effective or ineffective; good or bad; right or wrong
  
  
• An assessment goes further. It does assess whether your action is effective, or ineffective, in reaching the desired goal. Yet an assessment also refrains from moral judgement. It also avoids good or bad, right and wrong
  
  

• A judgement goes on to add meaning; good or bad, right or wrong. The problem is that different things have different meanings for different people. And few people share exactly the same moral values, which is one reason why arguments are so common!
  

Are You Responsible?

Responsibility is very different to being at fault. Nor is it the same as being right or wrong. Responsibility is also different to blame, praise, guilt, burden, credit, or shame.

Taking responsibility is NOT saying that the situation is either good or bad, or what you did is either right or wrong. It's rather an assessment of what is so, and what your current take on the situation is.

Responsibility starts when you acknowledge that you are responsible - 100% responsible - for your part in the matter. That you have helped contribute to the matter in some way, no matter how small.

No one can make you responsible, nor can you make someone else responsible. But being responsible is where you begin to make a change, to create a solution. It’s a stand which gives you an empowering say in life - which means in your own life!

Does authority comes with responsibility? If you have authority for an area then you need to take responsibility for the outcome. This applies to the work-place environment, to yourself and indeed to others.

Make the Highest Choice

It’s empowering for you to ask what is your highest and best choice in the matter? This may be to do nothing – when putting time and energy into this would detract from the energy you are putting into your other activities.

Or perhaps you need to put effort into the solution. If you are not prepared to do this, and your energy is not going into other complimentary activities, then it would be helpful for you to recognize your responsibility in the matter. To recognize that you are part of the problem!

Freedom to be yourself in a personal sense involves taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. The questions to ask here revolve, crucially, around choosing what you want to be before choosing what to do. Ask yourself:

• How can I live up to my highest potential?
  

• What would love - rather than fear - do now?
  

Only then will you know what to do, how to act. This is very different to asking yourself, ‘What would I like to do?’ or, ‘What do I feel like doing?’

The more grown up and mature you are, the more authority you take over yourself and your actions. With that authority comes responsibility for your actions.

Take Back Your Power

Responsibility starts when you say, ‘I, and no one else, got me into this situation.’ Others may have contributed, but you got here yourself. Some while ago, you initiated the steps that resulted in you being here - of your own volition. This stance may be difficult to accept to start with, yet consider the benefit, the outcome, the grace such acceptance brings...

Taking responsibility reclaims the personal power you need to do something about it. Unless you do this, the power in these circumstances rests with others - not you. So, when you want a situation to change, take responsibility for it!

When you are willing to say, "I'm responsible," it puts you in an empowering situation in which you have a say in the matter. When you are willing to accept that your actions - or inaction - helped cause it, you can change it. If you’re unwilling, you instead waste your energy blaming others.

Contribute to the Solution

Only when you can accept that you are responsible can you change anything. If you didn't contribute to the cause, if you had no part in it, then how can you change it? So reclaim your personal power! Then you can contribute to the solution.

When you accept that you are responsible, then you also accept that you are the generator of your current situation - what you are, what you do, and what you have. This stance also says that neither you nor anyone else is to blame. Reality is what it is. Then you can deal with the circumstances, no matter what they are, and you empower yourself to move forward.

No one can can make you responsible, it's a stance that you choose for yourself when you want circumstances to change. Neither can you make someone else change. All you can do is have compassion for the stance they take, knowing that whatever is holding them back is real to them. The irony is that only when they can let go and accept responsibility will they regain the power to affect their circumstances.

The Dilemma

This dilemma is very real.

When you take responsibility, others will also tend to give you the blame. Yet when they blame you, they sabotage themselves by giving away their power. Just as they do by judging you and refusing to take responsibility for their part in the matter, no matter how small.

At Life Strategies, you will learn how to work with these empowering distinctions, how to achieve what you really want to achieve, and not to end up with what you don't want. Learning how to take responsibility without taking the blame is an important step toward this.

Yet if this wasn't already abundantly clear to you, then self-sabotage has probably stopped you reaching this conclusion!

But I Know All This, you say

If you believe you know all this, but you still don't take full responsibility for your part in everything that happens in your life, then you do NOT know it, although you may know about it. You can't fool the universe, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Much of the human race lives in denial. And this doesn't mean on the river in Egypt! We say we want:

• to care for the Earth, yet we chop down her rain-forests and plunder her resources as unlimited
  
  
• a society free of rage and violence, then we entertain ourselves - and our children - with TV programs of graphic rage and violence
  

• our young ones to be responsible, yet our school "Zero-Tolerance" laws take that responsibility away by mandating totally disproportionate responses
  

• the truth, yet we follow Adolf Hitler's strategy of lying whenever we think it expedient. After all - doesn't The End Justify The Means?
  

Do any of these strategies work to give us the outcomes that we desire? Isn't there sufficient evidence of their inevitable consequences right in front of our eyes?

If you are not experiencing the results you genuinely want then you cannot really know "All This." Your experience will change when you have changed.

If any of this speaks to your heart, then you know that truth has its own beauty. The elegance of truth gladdens the heart. If you continue exploring these truths, they will bring amazing joy into your life.

The difference between just knowing about, and authentic knowing, is a crucial distinction which makes a world of difference, one which self-sabotage has obviously been keeping from you.

Stop your Self-Sabotage

Achieving what you really want means learning how to overcome your self-sabotage mechanism. Everyone has one, and it operates all the time.

The self-sabotage mechanism generally operates through context, not through content. What's the difference?

• your context is where you come from when you do what you do
  
  
• your content is what you do, how you handle your affairs
  

So learn to manage your context, and stop your self-sabotage. Find out how to do what works, and not do what doesn't work for you. Do more with less! Invest to learn how you can achieve more while saving both time and energy with this ground-breaking, twenty-first century, e-book program and action plan.

Why Invest in Improving Your Capabilities?

An investment has a return, and your return in stopping your self-sabotage is enormous. There's no bigger return than in improving your capabilities, in becoming more effective. Life Strategies clients experience becoming at least 20% more effective, and one client recently reported an increase of ninety percent after just one year.

In the long run, your increase in effectiveness will increase your earnings by at least the same amount. And the increase is permanent. As Benjamin Franklin famously observed,


How much will a twenty percent increase in earnings amount to in dollars over the rest of your life?

Work this out right now! Don't allow yourself to self-sabotage, take the time to answer to this crucial question this very moment - it'll change your life!

The result of your calculations will prove to you beyond doubt that your increase in earnings will pay for your investment in yourself many, many times over.

Yet, just like heat from a fire, results always take a little time and effort. You first have to buy the logs, then you need to put some kindling in the stove before putting in the wood. Only then can you light and look after the fire, which after a small delay will give you heat.

Enjoy a big 25% discount - as well as some very special bonuses - if you act today. There is no better way to improve your income than by stopping your self-sabotage with...

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Food for Thought